Ignite, Rekindle & Thrive

Go from SURVIVING to THRIVING, and ENDURING to ENJOYING.

 I always say that Marriage is not hard, it just requires intentionality. Many couples take the wrong approach in marriage in a bid to fix conflicts, but unfortunately, these approaches make things worse.

I remember helping a young couple not too long ago. They reached out to me because they were on the verge of divorce. They both wanted out, and the worst part was that they were not hearing each other out. 

When they enrolled for the Ignite and Thrive program, I discovered in our first session that the husband’s reactions and crankiness have been due to his frustration, and the frustration stemmed from him not getting sex from his wife.He had been feeling neglected in his own marriage even when the wife was cooking and doing other things except sex. 

I found out in our second session that the wife intentionally starved her husband of sex because she thought that her husband was not putting enough effort into romance. She wanted to feel chased and always get his attention whenever he was home. Apparently, she had watched a TikTok video that said if a man didn’t send morning texts every week, or make breakfasts for his wife then he is slacking, and should be punished, so he can step up.  

The lady took the TikTok advice and that was the beginning of unending conflicts for them. Unfortunately, the man was losing it. He became cranky and angry, and this made the woman more annoyed that she decided to starve him of sex more. In one of our sessions, we realized that the wife had an anxious attachment style which was a result of her childhood trauma, where she always wanted to be reassured. 

She had insecurities and trust issues, which resulted in her taking a drastic measure to get her man’s attention. Also, the man had a communication deficiency (poor communication skills) and believed that women are as logical as men. He made little efforts in connecting emotionally with his wife, which made the situation escalate rapidly.

 I helped them bridge the communication gap and coached them on the importance of emotional intimacy, sex and romance in marriage. Now, they are a thriving couple and they understand themselves more than ever